Psychologist reveals: Is it okay to break up with someone for being unintelligent?

Written by Jakob A. Overgaard

Sep.07 - 2023 3:25 PM CET

Photo: Depositphotos
Photo: Depositphotos
In a world that increasingly values intelligence, the question arises: Is it acceptable to end a relationship based on your partner's lack of intelligence?

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A blog post by Anne Ellekjær delves into this sensitive topic through the story of a young woman named Cecilie.

The Dilemma

Cecilie, a regular therapy-goer, found herself in a quandary. She was dating a man who met many of her criteria for a perfect partner but fell short in the intelligence department. While Cecilie was into Japanese poetry and stock investing, her boyfriend preferred watching car reviews on YouTube. This difference led her to question the future of their relationship.

The Role of Intelligence in Relationships

Psychologist Anne Ellekjær suggests that while having common values is essential, intelligence may not be the ultimate factor in determining a successful partnership. It's crucial to consider how you're treated, how your partner interacts with others, and how they react under pressure.

The Importance of Individuality

The author also raises the point that perhaps it's possible to find intellectual stimulation outside of your romantic relationship. Can love exist between two people with different interests and intellectual pursuits?

The Final Decision

Cecilie ultimately chose to continue her relationship, accepting her boyfriend for who he is now, rather than who he could potentially become. This decision indicates a healthy relationship where difficult conversations can lead to mutual understanding.

So, is it okay to break up with someone for being unintelligent? The answer is complex and depends on various factors, including your personal values and what you seek in a relationship – however the short answer is yes – it is ok if your partner doesn’t share your values due to a lower intelligence.

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