Put yourself first: Smart strategies for women who do too much

Women today are juggling more than ever, careers, households, caregiving, and too often, losing themselves in the process.

Economist Corinne Low offers a powerful roadmap to help women reclaim their time, energy, and happiness. These ten strategies aren’t about doing more, they’re about finally getting a better deal.

Define Your Own Success

Forget the Instagram-perfect family or the friend who bakes from scratch, your life isn’t a competition, and your values are what count. Economists call it your “utility function”: the unique mix of what makes your life fulfilling.

Whether it’s travel, career, parenting, or solitude, stop measuring yourself against others with different priorities. You’re not falling behind, you’re just playing a different game.

Don’t Fix Yourself — Fix the System

From “lean in” to “speak louder,” women are constantly told to adjust to fit male-dominated norms. But what if the norms are broken?

Studies show men overcompete and often lose out because of it, while women’s supposed negotiation “failures” stem from the very real risk of social penalty. Instead of changing who you are, recognise the strengths you already bring, and stop apologising for them.

Your Job Is Not Your Soulmate

Love your job? Great. But don’t mistake your employer for a partner. While you’re giving your all, the company is focused on its bottom line.

Ask yourself: Am I getting more than I’m giving? Know when a job is a stepping stone, and when it’s draining your energy. Protect your time, your peace, and your value. A job will never love you back — but your life can.

Choose a Partner Like You’d Hire a CEO

Attraction matters, but so does alignment. Who’s doing the laundry? Who’s making dinner?

If you wouldn’t hire someone without checking their qualifications, why choose a life partner without asking if they’ll share the load? Love is essential, but so is partnership. Look beyond chemistry and ask the practical questions early.

Audit the Relationship Load

If you’re feeling overwhelmed at home, you’re not imagining it. Start tracking every 15-minute block of your week, and get your partner to do the same.

Include childcare, housework, mental load, and emotional labour. Once the numbers are in, you’ll both see who’s carrying what, and where things need to shift. Data, not drama, is how you reset the terms of an unequal partnership.

Divide the Work Like Adults

“Help” isn’t enough. Women need partners, not assistants. That means clear divisions of labour, and real accountability.

Use tools like Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play system to assign entire tasks, from planning to execution. The goal? Specialisation that frees you from micromanaging or silently absorbing extra work. This isn’t about fairness alone, it’s about sustainability.

Schedule Joy First

Leisure isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. Just as you’d pay yourself first when budgeting money, set aside time for rest, fun, and connection before tackling your to-do list.

Treat your personal time like a meeting with your boss, sacred and non-negotiable. Planning downtime doesn’t steal your time; it stretches it.

Outsource Without Guilt

We routinely hire people for “male-coded” chores like fixing gutters, but feel guilty paying for childcare or cleaning. It’s time to stop seeing help as indulgence and start viewing it as an investment.

If outsourcing improves your mental health, work performance, or relationships, it’s worth it. And if money is tight, get creative: trade, simplify, or let things go.

Reclaim Time for Meaning

The world is loud with demands, but your inner voice matters most. Instead of reacting to guilt or social pressure, ask: What makes my life meaningful? Then prioritise those things, ruthlessly. You’re not here to prop up everyone else’s life. You’re here to live your own, fully, joyfully, and on your terms.

This article is made and published by Edith Hejberg, which may have used AI in the preparation