Camilla Jessen
A former cruise ship crew member is spilling secrets about why onboard flings between passengers and staff are a major no-go.
Ever locked eyes with a flirty bartender or charming entertainment host on a cruise and felt like your own Love Boat moment was about to begin?
Think again.
Behind the cocktails and dance parties, cruise ships enforce strict rules when it comes to romance — especially between crew and passengers.
And according to Lucy Southerton, a former cruise ship worker with a decade of experience on vessels like Virgin Voyages and Disney Cruise Line, those rules aren’t just for show.
On her YouTube channel Cruising as Crew, Southerton recently addressed what she says is one of the industry’s most frequently asked questions:
“Can crew members date or sleep with passengers?”
She responded with a firm no — and for good reason.
“No Cruise Line Is Okay With It”
“There is definitely no cruise line out there that is okay with their crew getting busy with a passenger,” Southerton states.
While the idea of an onboard romance might seem harmless — or even a little thrilling — the reality for crew members is very different.
They’re not on vacation. They’re working under tight contracts and living within strict professional boundaries, many of which are in place to protect both passengers and the brand.
When Things Go Wrong, Everyone Pays
As Southerton explains, cruise companies aren’t just being uptight — they’re protecting billion-dollar businesses.
If a romantic entanglement leads to drama, misunderstandings, or worse — allegations of misconduct — it can quickly escalate into a human resources nightmare, complete with security involvement, legal risks, and the kind of PR disaster no cruise line wants.
“That costs money,” she says, adding that companies will always choose to protect their brand over a fleeting romantic connection.
Protecting Crew and Guests
It’s also about protecting the individuals involved.
One person is on vacation — maybe sipping their third daiquiri by noon — and the other is at work, possibly relying on tips and following strict codes of conduct.
The dynamic, Southerton says, is rarely equal.
One of these parties will get their feelings or their ego hurt. That’s when accusations might be made, reports might be filed, and the crew member is going to get in trouble.
While these rules exist for a reason, that doesn’t mean connections don’t happen.
Southerton admits that crew meet hundreds of new people every week, and it’s not unusual for bonds — even romantic ones — to form.
But she cautions guests against reading too much into those vacation sparks.
That flirty exchange might feel like love to a passenger. But for the crew member? It’s just another friendly conversation — and maybe one they’ve had a dozen times this week.
To drive the point home, Southerton shares a story about a new crew member who had waited years to land a spot on board — only to get fired one week into his contract after getting involved with a guest.
He wasn’t discreet about it, and a week and a half later, he got sent home,” she says. “He worked so hard for this chance, and it was gone — just like that.