Kenneth Glad
One ordinary dinner left a husband unsettled by what had just happened. It was the kind of moment that later made sense only in hindsight.
Mike Parish first sensed something was wrong when his husband Tom ordered dinner for only himself during a meal out. The moment seemed minor, but it marked a deeper change, according to The Daily Express.
The account is one of three shared during Alzheimer’s Society’s June Forget Me Not Appeal, which highlights the strain on people with dementia and those who care for them.
Alzheimer’s Society says people wait an average of 3.5 years from first symptoms to diagnosis. The charity’s chief executive, Michelle Dyson, told The Daily Express:
“In the digital age of instant answers, people are still waiting far too long for a diagnosis of the country’s biggest killer.”
For families, that delay can mean months or years of uncertainty, with relatives trying to interpret changes in behavior while also arranging practical and emotional support.
Dyson added: “No one should have to face their hardest moments alone.”
The signs were not always obvious
In Gloucester, Ken Lester, 87, noticed that his wife Wendy, 88, sometimes struggled to finish sentences. The former accountant was later diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.
“It was a shock, and it all still feels very new and fresh,” Ken told the newspaper. He said help from Alzheimer’s Society made the situation feel less isolating.
In Bristol, Jenine Kendall, 43, and her sisters care for their mother Rosemary, 73. Her first symptoms affected speech, reading, and writing rather than memory alone.
“When most people think of Alzheimer’s, they think it’s just memory problems,” Jenine said. After about 18 months of testing, Alzheimer’s disease was confirmed.
Care became part of daily life
Tom’s symptoms began in 2008, but he was not diagnosed until 2016, when doctors identified progressive supranuclear palsy and dementia. By then, years of small changes had already reshaped daily life for the couple.
Mike, 70, from Somerset, later became Tom’s full-time carer. He said other unusual habits followed that first restaurant incident, including repeated purchases and everyday objects disappearing in ways that felt increasingly hard to dismiss. “All these small things started to add up,” he said.
The role brought emotional and practical pressure, especially as Tom became more dependent and communication grew harder. Mike has described the experience as constant, with little room to step away from responsibility.
Tom died in 2022, but Mike said their connection continued after speech became difficult: “Holding hands, a smile, small gestures of reassurance.”
The three accounts show how dementia rarely affects only one person. Long before and after a diagnosis, families are often left piecing together symptoms, reshaping daily routines, and searching for support that can make the burden easier to carry.
Sources: The Daily Express; Alzheimer’s Society
