Edith Hejberg
Positive relationships can lower stress, improve resilience, and even extend your life yet many adults struggle to maintain them.
It may sound dramatic, but research shows chronic loneliness can be as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. The U.S. Surgeon General has even warned that its health impact is greater than obesity or physical inactivity.
Strong friendships aren’t just “nice to have”, they’re essential to your mental and physical well-being.
Friendship Is a Basic Human Need
Humans are hardwired to connect. Dr. Amit Kumar from the University of Texas at Austin reminds us we have a deep, fundamental need to belong.
Positive relationships can lower stress, improve resilience, and even extend your life yet many adults struggle to maintain them.
Face the Fears That Hold You Back
Fear of rejection, social anxiety, or past awkward experiences can make meeting new people daunting. But experts say exposure is key.
Practice small, low-stakes social interactions: chat with a cashier, ask a stranger for directions, or make a small request you expect will be declined. Over time, your brain learns that socializing isn’t so scary.
Rethink What Counts as “Hanging Out”
Making time for friends doesn’t always mean a big night out. Invite a friend to join you for errands, folding laundry, or a short walk.
Set time limits if you’re busy a quick Tuesday night game session can be just as meaningful as a long weekend catch-up.
Fight the Decline of “Third Places”
Coffee shops, parks, and community centers those casual gathering spots where friendships spark are disappearing.
Partly, it’s because we’re not showing up. Delivery services, mobile ordering, and livestreamed events keep us in our comfort zones but rob us of spontaneous encounters. The cure? Get out of the house more often and linger in public spaces.
Choose Spaces That Match Your Values
If you want to meet like-minded people, go where they go. Love books? Try library events or book clubs. Care about your community? Volunteer. Into cooking or dance? Take a class.
You’re far more likely to connect when you share interests from the start.
Take the Lead in Creating Community
Don’t wait for invitations start something yourself. Host a “friends of friends” dinner where everyone brings someone new.
Organize a hobby group or join platforms like The Lonely Girls Club, Groundfloor, or Time Left that bring strangers together for real-world meetups.
Master the Art of Small Talk
Small talk may feel trivial, but it’s the bridge to deeper conversations. Ask questions tied to the situation at a jazz bar, ask about favorite artists.
Use the “listen and link” method: connect their stories to your own experiences to keep the conversation flowing. And stay curious, there’s a lifetime of stories behind every new face.
Reconnect With Old Friends
Reaching out to someone you’ve lost touch with can feel awkward, but chances are they’ll be delighted to hear from you.
A quick message, shared memory, or casual coffee invitation could revive a friendship you didn’t realize you were missing.
Nurture Friendships Like They Matter — Because They Do
Friendships aren’t effortless, especially in adulthood. Check in regularly, remember the little things, and be intentional about spending time together.
The payoff? A richer, healthier, and possibly longer life.
