Kenneth Glad
Shared homes can make a split more complicated. Even simple belongings may come with costs, awkward conversations and items people later wish they had kept.
For renters and unmarried couples, moving in together often means building a home through smaller purchases rather than major assets.
A sofa, a bed, a rug or a washing machine may not feel like much at first, but after a breakup, those items can become difficult to divide.
A poll by OneFamily of 3,000 people found that one in five UK adults aged 18 to 40 had delayed a breakup because living together made costs easier to manage.
When rent, deposits and replacement furniture are expensive, leaving a relationship can mean losing far more than a shared address.
The losses can be large
The Guardian interviewed several people about their experiences of breakups after living with a partner.
Jade, 32, left the Bedfordshire home she had shared with her partner of five years and took only a desk she considered fully hers.
She left behind furniture and appliances the couple had bought together, including a fridge and washing machine. She estimated the loss at close to £5,000.
Even the bed she had owned before the relationship stayed in the house because taking it felt too uncomfortable while ending the relationship.
“It felt a bit weird to say, ‘I’m leaving you and also taking the bed from underneath you,’” she said.
Jade also left behind a whale-shark-shaped candle holder the couple had chosen together. Rather than turn it into another argument, she let it stay.
Renters have fewer options
For renters, there is often no property sale and no formal division of assets. Decisions are made quickly, sometimes while one person is trying to avoid conflict or move out as soon as possible.
The Guardian writes abot Becca, 35, who moved out of a rented flat where she loved to live with her girlfriend. Before the move, she wanted to store some furniture instead of getting rid of it.
The idea caused tension because her partner saw it as a sign Becca was preparing for the relationship to fail. Becca later sold some items and left others behind.
When the relationship ended months later, she estimated she had lost about £3,000, including money spent on furniture for her old flat and items she could not sell.
Some losses were personal. Becca especially regretted selling a glass-fronted cabinet that had been a graduation gift from her mother.
“It’s replaceable – I can go and buy it again – but it’s really expensive,” she said. “I’m really sad about it because I’d always wanted it.”
Awkward requests can linger
Emily, 30, told the newspaper that most of the furniture in the flat she shared with her boyfriend had originally belonged to her. After they separated, their tenancy meant they still had to live together temporarily.
Her former partner asked to keep several items. Emily refused most requests but let him take a large rug from her aunt because it reminded her too much of the relationship.
“I really associated it with the flat,” she said.
When her aunt later asked where the rug had gone, Emily began reconsidering. Asking for it back would mean contacting her ex for one very specific reason.
“Excuse me, can I have my rug back?” she said.
Legal fights rarely pay
Matt, 45, told The Guardian that his former girlfriend took several items he believed were his after leaving the flat they had shared for a decade. He chose not to argue.
“The new chapter is so much more important,” he said.
Family lawyer James Davies said to the British newspaper that unmarried couples have limited legal protection when disputes involve household possessions rather than property.
“The legal framework is grossly inadequate and very difficult to navigate,” he said.
Davies said legal fees can quickly exceed the value of the disputed items. Mediation or a cohabitation agreement, he suggested, may be more useful than trying to settle ownership after a breakup.
Source: The Guardian, OneFamily
