Kathrine Frich
After more than a decade at the bedside of dying patients, very little surprises her anymore.
She has helped families through grief and spoken openly about what death can look like. But one case stayed with her in a way she never expected.
Julie McFadden says this experience forced her to rethink beliefs she had held throughout her career. Even now, she admits she struggles to explain it.
Years of experience
McFadden has worked as a hospice nurse for more than 16 years and runs the popular YouTube channel Hospice Nurse Julie.
Her videos aim to demystify death and support people facing the end of life.
According to the Mirror, she recently shared a story from earlier in her career that still unsettles her. It involved a young woman admitted to hospice with a terminal brain tumour.
“Okay, I’ve been a nurse for 16 years now. There was only one patient that made me question my belief system,” McFadden told viewers.
A firm refusal
The patient, believed to be in her late 20s or early 30s, had no close family and was cared for by friends. McFadden described the situation as deeply sad but marked by loyalty and love.
The woman refused most conventional medication.
“Definitely no morphine, definitely no Ativan, nothing that was going to basically help her,” McFadden said.
Instead, she relied on prayer, meditation, chanting and herbal remedies, a choice the nurse respected and supported.
Something felt wrong
As the illness progressed, the woman’s condition deteriorated.
She suffered seizures, lost her ability to communicate clearly and became increasingly agitated.
What disturbed McFadden most was the atmosphere in the apartment.
Friends covered the space in white fabric and filled it with religious symbols and music.
“So you’d think it would feel good and light and airy, but it did not,” she said.
Lingering questions
McFadden said she felt an intense physical fear every time she entered the apartment.
“The second I would walk into that apartment, my stomach would drop,” she explained.
“That apartment did not feel good… the patient didn’t feel light. It felt very bad,” she added.
The woman later died, but the feeling did not fade. McFadden said the space remained oppressive even after death.
She believes uncontrolled symptoms could explain much of what she witnessed, but admits the experience left her questioning herself.
“It’s the one situation… that has made me question a little bit of my beliefs,” she said.
Sources: Daily Star, Mirror
