Edith Hejberg
Lying in bed wide awake posed a new question, what should I actually do instead?
For years, I resigned myself to the idea that sleep just wasn’t something I was built for. Despite trying everything from expensive teas to guided breathing exercises, nothing stuck. The more I tried to force it, the further sleep drifted from reach.
When trying harder made it worse
Every so-called solution, whether herbal, medical or mental, only added to my anxiety. Even moments of near-sleep triggered excitement so intense it jolted me wide awake. It was a cycle of hope, disappointment and exhaustion.
Desperation met a military method
One night, I attempted the famed SAS sleep technique: relaxing every muscle, breathing deeply, and clearing my mind.
But instead of drifting off, I hit a wall. Something clicked, I wasn’t cut out for this kind of effort.
The quiet decision to give up
That night, I surrendered. No more rituals, no more research. If my brain refused to be soothed, I’d stop fighting it.
But lying in bed wide awake posed a new question, what should I actually do instead?
Enter the grisly distraction
I landed on something I never thought would help: true crime podcasts.
Not exactly bedtime material, but they offered a steady, engaging monologue, perfect for my overstimulated, half-zombified state.
A sceptic turned podcast addict
Before this, I never understood the podcast craze.
They seemed like background noise for doing the dishes. But suddenly, I was deep into cults on college campuses and the chilling logic of serial killers.
Sleep sneaks in through the horror
The next morning, I realised something had changed, I’d fallen asleep halfway through the episode. No tossing, no clock-watching.
For once, sleep came without warning, quietly taking over as I listened to stories of chaos.
The irony of not trying
After years of trying too hard, it was the act of not trying that worked.
By giving my mind something else to latch onto, something gripping but oddly comforting, I let go of the struggle and finally slept.
Nightly horror, nightly sleep
Now, my bedtime ritual is simple: pick a new true crime episode and press play.
Each night I’m lulled to sleep by narrators describing grim and gory tales. It’s become a strangely soothing routine.
Redefining what “relaxing” means
Most people aim for calm and serenity to fall asleep, yoga, ocean sounds, chamomile tea.
My trick? Chainsaws, home invasions and criminal psychology. As backwards as it sounds, it works wonders.
Letting go of sleep perfectionism
We treat sleep like a skill to master or a goal to chase. But it’s not.
The harder we try, the more elusive it becomes. Sleep, it turns out, thrives on indifference.
A surprisingly effective fix
Macabre content may not be everyone’s go-to sleep aid, but for me, it broke the cycle of effort and frustration.
The trick wasn’t to relax, it was to distract, disengage, and finally let go.
Sleep by way of serial killers
It may sound bizarre, but true crime podcasts gave me back my nights. Where mindfulness failed, murder mysteries prevailed.
And in a strange way, they taught me the most calming lesson of all: stop caring so much.
This article is made and published by Edith Hejberg, which may have used AI in the preparation
